Spring Break in Death Valley

A Man without a Country

By Kurt Vonnegut (Jr.) was a great book. I just finished it. In fact, I also just started it! That's how much I liked it. If you decide to pick it up, or you already have, you might know what I'm talking about when I say, my favorite part was when he talked about mailing his manuscript to Carol in Woodstock. The way he describes it all and how he's secretly in love with the lady at the post office. Makes you feel like you get to know him better in that chapter (Ch 6). By the time you get to that chapter, you're really wishing you did actually know him and you're feeling very sad that he died in 2007 (April 11th). I would have liked to have known what he would have said about Obama. I know the word favorite is absolute, like the word best, and there cannot be 2 of them or else it would not be absolute, BUT another part I really loved was when he said that thing about the semicolons and then when he used one later; he can be funny that way.

Fiddledicks

The way I figure it, when you're all grown up and have little ones of your own, you're gonna probably have to stop swearing so much or your kids' teachers and other goody two-shoed folks will think you're a horrible influence on your kids and sometimes you just have to care about what other people think of the way you're raising them chilluns. Lots of times you have to care about what other people think of you and the way you do things. You know why? Because they will treat you, and your children, a certain way based on what they think of you. And no amount of "not caring what others think" will ever undo what others end up doing. That's what we (the royal we) call discrimination, my friends. 

But I've come up with a way of getting around some of that swearing off swearing business. Instead of saying fuck, shit, or ball-sucking ass face, I'm gonna use terms like "fiddledicks," "tittywinks," or "Jiminy Dickits" so that when my kids copy me and say these swear words at school the other parents and teachers will just think my kid is being a cute little kid who is comically messing up on the nice swear word alternatives her/his mommy is using at home. 

kid stubs toe, "fiddledicks!" kid cries, hopping on one foot. teacher witnesses this comical misuse of the common alternative phrase, 'fiddlesticks.' Misuse? OR PERHAPS NOT???

Grandpa's Ring

     I spent some time at grandma's house today. I usually do every time I'm travelling. Grandma lives in a big 5 bedroom house, just her and my 3.5 year-old cousin, Natalie. My uncle just recently moved home also but he's locked himself in a room upstairs for a while (that's a different story though). Today was like most days visiting Grandma's house, kind of quiet and chilly. Natalie is always fun for a little while, but she's 3.5 years old; you can only play "cars" or "dolphins" for so long. Also as usual, grandma had a bunch of leftover food she wanted me to help her finish eating so we ate dinner together and she talked about how she thought sesame helps your hair grow back and keep from falling out. In the last few years she's been putting cups of sesame seeds in everything she eats and she swears it's keeping her hair from falling out. I think she's also a lot less stressed out these days just taking care of a little girl. She loves him, we all do, but Grandpa was hard to take care of.

     We were sitting at the dining room table, where most things in Grandma's house seem to happen. Natalie was playing with this VReader thing her mom had gotten her a while back. Grandma had just asked me to go to the store to buy batteries for it; she said no one else would do it for her. We were having tea and Grandma said, "When are you going to move all your boxes out of the basement? You put a bunch down there that one time, why don't you take them so you can use your things?"

     I said, "Grandma, I took that stuff out of your basement over a year ago!"
"Oh really? I didn't even see you do it! Are you sure? There's so much stuff down there I never know what belongs to whom..." she said, elaborating on how all she used the basement for was laundry. "Are you sure there's nothing down there that's yours?"
"I guess I should check, just in case."
"Yeah, just do it to make sure."

So I went down into the dungeonous basement and Grandma followed me. Sure enough there was a TON of stuff down there, but none of it was mine. There were about 20 boxes of "cell phone holders" from our ex-uncle's business venture and some old mattresses. I opened up an old duffel and there were a bunch of plastic ponchos in them. Grandma was pretty sure they belonged to my aunt.

     We ventured into a little room and I saw a box full of old Christmas ornaments. They were mostly styrofoam apples painted with red shiny varnish. "Grandma! These were my family's ornaments when we were living in Hawaii!" I started digging through them and Grandma laughed, talking about how she didn't know who any of these things belonged to. She suggested I take them back to Minnesota with me but I said that I couldn't because I didn't have a check-in. "I'll just ship it back home next year." Okay she said, she wouldn't throw it away. "Maybe I'll just bring one back with me" I said. I sifted through them some more and the faint smell of dầu (menthol medicinal oil) came drifting up toward me. "Look, Grandma! A bottle of dầu!" I said, thinking, what a funny thing to forget in here for so long.

      I looked at Grandma and she was smiling. I opened the box it came in and we both looked in it. There was a bottle of dầu but there was also a bright gold necklace and a couple of gold rings inside. "I've been looking for these for years," she said, smiling and pulling them out. For the most part she seemed so nonchalant about it but she wouldn't stop smiling up to her eyes. "There's another one in there," she said. I searched through the bag and found a salt shaker with a rolled up napkin in it. "It's my ring," she said. "I hid these right after your Grandpa died and I've been looking for them ever since." She had told one of her daughters, my Godmother, that she could have one of her father's rings, but after that she couldn't find it. "I've been looking for these forever," she repeated, "Grandpa must have shown you where they were."

Pledge of Allegiance

After 9/11, my public high school decided to start saying the Pledge of Allegiance over the intercom. The school officials told us that participation was not mandatory. I felt that my sense of national pride should not have “turned on” because of tragedy, if I was proud to be American, I should have been proud before 9/11. Furthermore, I did not want to promise to America my allegiance when America itself was breaking its own promises to me; “with liberty and justice for all” sounded like a false promise if not a flat out lie.

During the daily Pledge of Allegiance, I stayed quietly seated, with my hands folded on the table, staring ahead of me at the blackboard. I made an effort, every morning, to be perfectly respectful of my fellow students’ choice to say the Pledge. One day after class, one of my friends told me that a girl at her table had said, “Look at Cindy. She never stands up; she just sits there and gawks at us. Doesn’t she know where she is now?”

'Where she is now" ?? Yes, right now I'm in the Biology classroom, later I'll be in the cafeteria and then after that downtown..where I'm taking YOU, bitch.

Just kidding.. I didn't actually say that to her.

I continued to sit silently and respectfully through the Pledge of Allegiance. I also glared at the girl every time she caught my eye in class for the rest of the year, but I never confronted her about what she had said about me. I did not know what to say and I did not know how to say it without getting upset. I am a little bit better at it now, I think, but it takes some getting used to.

That girl is now one of my good friend's girlfriend. I haven't seen him since they got together a while ago just because I haven't really been home (to MN). But next time I do, I won't bring it up because I'm sure she won't remember it. I'll just be on guard, hopefully she's not that stupid anymore.